How the HOH Benefits
Marriage, after all, is supposed to be a selfless relationship. So despite the fact that all the DD sites seem to stress how important it is for the wife to be disciplined, there are actually a lot of ways in which the Mister benefits too...
My HOH would be described as a sensitive, personable, funny man who is closer to the women in his family than the men. He cried with me watching The Notebook, so can you see how before our DD lifestyle was born, it was sometimes difficult for me to look up to him?
My lack of "lookingupness" triggered feelings within him as well. I demanded attention, everything was MY way, and there were no rules or boundries. It was hard to see him as a masculine figure because I was ruling the roost and dominating everyone and their coffee pots. It is not at all surprising that my husband felt "pussy whipped" at times. (I just hate that term, but it's the best word there was...)
So believe me, when we embarked on our newfounded DD marriage together, the changes I saw within my new HOH were incredibly uplifting: for BOTH of us.
HOH's confidence was restored, I looked up to him and admired him in ways I never knew possible. He was more comfortable, and willing to give me more affection because I wasn't commanding the household like a jerk.
Suddenly, marriage was a partnership.
Now this seems ironic because the whole idea of me submitting doesn't really seem to create a partnership, but rather a monarchy in the other direction. But like I've said before: the whole point of marriage is that you complete each other. We couldn't both be leaders! And while we're equal- which I stress because most people who hear of DD freak out about how women worked for centuries to establish equality- we have different responsibilities.
The secret was, I was able to humble myself enough to step down and let my husband take his natural palce. (And I still have trouble with the humbling, which is why I'm thankful for the spankings to help me remember my place.) and I took my natural place. And now we appreciate each other for, like, the first time ever. Soooo refreshing...
So yes, it is ironic isn't it? In my seemingly less important role, we're really establishing harmony and equality in the home. Every life is important. A child is just as important as it's mother, but that doesn't mean the child is suited for the responsibility the mother takes on. Get it?
So now my HOH is happier, nicer, more loving, charming, masculine, just what I need. And the frequent spankings not only help me, they help my husband too. He's able to resestablish and confirm control and authority, and also relieve some pent up anger that would otherwise be held in. Though he does not strike me in anger, he is angry that he needs to discipline me and that I mess up.
Oh how I love him...