Terminology
DD: domestic discipline, the lifestyle couples practice which involves the man taking a dominant role and the female taking a submissive role and accepting punishment and rules from her husband as a means of having a respectful, loving marriage.
HOH: head of the household, typically the male figure in the family is deamed the "head of the household" meaning he makes the decisions, is a leader, and lovingly guides his family with the help and trusting support of his submissive, nurturing wife.
DH: dear/darling/dumb/etc. husband, DH isn't just a DD term, many women use it online as a short for "husband". Most of the time it means dear husband, but it has also been known to describe dumb husband and a couple other four letter words- so for the most part, DDers stick to HOH.
D/s: dominating/submission or dominator/submissive, another term used to define the type of lifestyle in which a couple has a dominant partner and a submissive partner who play out these roles in daily life. The D is capitalized while the s is left lower case in symbolism of their roles in the relationship.
Fetish: a sexual obsession. I don't describe DD as a fetish because it is NOT a sex thing. Although sex is a big part of our relationship, and naturally yes we bring my submission and HOH's dominance in the bedroom, it's our lifestyle. A fetish describes more of a sexual preoccupation with certain objects or fantasies.
BDSM: bondage/ discipline (or sometimes dominance)/ sadism/ masochism, a sexual fetish which involves elements of the four factors listed (sadism, masochism, etc.). Please note: my HOH and I do not practice BDSM, nor do we agree with it's typical practices. Most DD dites will clarify that they are not BDSM. Most of those couples that practice DD will tell you that BDSM is a very different idea, mostly a fetish in the bedroom only, whereas DD is a lifestyle designed to promote and create a healthy marriage/relationship through loving discipline.
Maledom: male domination, this term is typically only used in the world of BDSM or along with fetishes, but it basically describes the practice of, duh?, male domination.
Femdom: female domination, also typically only used with BDSM and fetishes.
Maintenance Spankings: these are spankings, or other sometimes other forms of maintenance punsihments, that are used by the HOH to help his wife remember she is held accountable for her actions during every day life. An HOH may give his submissive wife a spanking in the morning before he leaves for work, even if she has done nothing to deserve it, simply to show her he is serious about her being obedient even when he is away. Some HOHs schedule these once a week or some administer them only when they feel it's necessary. Most submissive wives agree to spankings/punishment even when they haven't done anything wrong (yet) because they know it helps them look up to their HOH and realize he will enforce the rules if she choses to break them.
Figging: although we've never practiced this because we believe the anal area sensitive and easily injured, this practice is used by some HOHs as a form of painful punishment. Figging is when a peeled ginger root is placed in the anus to promote a stinging, painful sensation. If you are interested in trying this, I suggest you do your research as to not injure yourself or your wife. Thankfully, my HOH thinks it's a silly for of punishment that we wouldn't be able to take seriously.
If you have another term you don't see listed here but would like explained, please post a comment and I'd be happy to list it.
posted by Emmyson @ 7:21 AM
23 comments
23 Comments:
I actually have a question: does the D/s lifestyle allow women to work outside of the home?
Cheers,
P.
I actually have another (seemingly dumber) question: Is the dominated wife (because I assume the wife is always the submissive one) encouraged to reach emancipation outside of her marriage?
Whoa, does it ever. For me and my hubby, the D/s lifestyle does not mean I'm a complete weakling forced to stay home and cook dinner and clean all day for my husband. Although I do a lot of housework, my husband works at it too. Right now, we have no kids (yet) and I work full time and actually earn more than he does!
So yes, in my marriage at least, I can work out of the home and my husband exresses that he is proud of it. I have my own career and he's not threatened by how I currently bring in more than he does. In fact, he's not really threatened by anything I can do. Thats part of the loving husband role he plays. He's no macho man.
I'm not sure what you mean about emancipation outside of the marriage? I live a completely normal life with my friends and family. Other than the little rules set out (like that I'm not supposed to go out and spend $50 with out asking first) don't hinder me in any way. I am no slave to my husband. He is the first to admit that. We have boundries in our marriage that create a mutual respect. Unfortunately, I'm often the one who messes up- and when I do, he holds me accountable. It's really as simple as that. I am a free woman and in many ways independent. My husband doesn't tell me what to do with my job, what clothes to wear. Why? Because he trusts me to make wise decisions. It's only the tough parts (like spending money ;) ) that he worries about!
I hope that answers your questions! Thanks for reading.
Emmysson, would you be so kind to explain us the procedures and rituals of your spanking sessions, when you deserve it?
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Pam,
Typically it is up to the individual HOH. I am allowed to work outside of my home. I follow strict rules regarding my employment which I'll explain shortly. But yet, I do work and my HOH allows me to. If he asks me to quit tomorrow, I will do so.
Emancipation outside of marriage...? Not sure exactly what you mean. But I do make a point to respect people and obey my HOH whenever we attend social events. If I was to disrespect my HOH and be rude to a co-worker, male, server, etc. I would embarrass him and be punished accordingly. On my job I am treated as an adult, but with my HOH I am required to respect and obey him and his friends according to his wishes. I follow his rules gladly.
Anon at 10.33,
I deserve it whenever my HOH believes I do. Sometimes it's quite unexpected, and I didn't realize I was doing wrong (which HOH always explains to me). Other times I "brat" and deserve it, knowing full well that I do.
I submit to my HOH whenever he requires that I do, bend over his knee, at any time of day, and submit my bottom to his firm hand. It is scary and reassuring both at the same time. I highly recommend it.
Cheers,
Emmy
My HOH and I carefully researched Gingerfigging. It was something we agreed he would make me to submit to only in an extreme situation. His highschool reunion brought out the greeneyed monster in me because of his HS sweetheart.When we came home, he tied my hands to the towel rack in the bathroom and slid the ginger in my anus, and let the ginger punish me for 45min, I couldnt clinch my cheeks because it makes it worse,the only thing that helped was if I spread my legs and stood on my toes. then he paddled me with the ginger in me, it just took one time. this is not a ritual.
My hoh decided that I needed a transformational and painful spanking to truly become submissive. I agreed, he ordered me to strip and bend over. He inserte the ginger in my anus and was ordered to corner time. After one hour, it felt like my bottom was on fire. I then was smcked by hand, paddled and given the belt over 3 hours with breaks in between when the ginger was reinserted. It was transformational and it was uncomfortable to sit for days but his point was well learned!
Why do you do this? Why is all discipline geared towards the woman? Who holds the man accountable for his errors? (Besides the Lord) What makes him always in the right? This is just another way to gain a green light for a man to "discipline" whenever he wants to-regardless if it is needed or not. It makes one wonder of/if the motives.
wtf! the only time my husband will be spanking my ass is during one of our dirty sex sessions. i dont know what goes through some of your minds to allow your husband to punish you as though you were a child. it also makes me wonder what would go on in that house if there were a child. :(
I have four children, I'm the one that gets spanked because I am the one old enough to concent. no concerns for the children. :) If it's not for you, thats fine! But it is for some of us and thats fine too. Mutual respect between both "camps" is all we ask for.
I'm curious... is this a religious thing or just a decision your reached because you thought it would help your marriage or something? Are you following some version of Biblical law here or is it just a secular lifestyle choice?
Do you not know that any type of anal penitration is sinning? Its called sodomy!!
Can you please give scripture where it says a husband is to DISCIPLINE their wife? I have yet to find any.. children yes, your spouse no!
have u thought about calling each other pimp /hoe during these subbmission sessions u dumb bitch??
How incredibly rude! Emmyson: I would not be able to live your lifestyle but you sound intelligent and happy with the choices that you have made for your life. I am ashamed to be part of a human race that would resort to personal insults because they don't understand.
I hope you continue to be happy in your choices and I am sure if things need to change, you and your husband will find a way to make that work too. Congratulations on a wonderful and exciting life!
I first saw one article about DD by mistake I was looking for sex toys, My reaction to the subject was somehow similar to the people commenting here before. I could not understand how women will let their husband take total control over their lives and bodies.
It was just a different way of thinking that I keep reading and reading until I finally understood. It makes sense, why do you want to argue about everything at the end who wins anyway? Then I remember how in our last vacations on a cruise we have the silliest fight ever. I don't even remember what was about!!!!! and we spend 2 days without talking to each other. Now I think how easy it will be for me just to say yes to husband. That will eliminate fights, arguments, silent days etc... It is been 6 days since I started reading and after the second day I decided to show it to my husband He was not sure at first but with my already better attitude just by reading he is giving it a chance.
I had my introductory spanking yesterday Let me say that it was painful, uncomfortable, hard and horrible but as I took my first punishment I felt this intense and beautiful love for my husband. I want to be there for his and together have the best relationship we can. We haven't had one single argument in these 6 days and although I know sooner or later I will get in trouble I can not stop feeling submissive and completely in love with my husband now HOH.
We know DD is not a sexual dynamic only but We had sex every days since then (our usual was once every two weeks)It is not only about me being completely submissive and willing, it is also because He says I have the most sexiest behavior and He loves to feel my inner peace.
Thank you DD. and Thank you Emmyson.
My HOH has never practiced figging, but when i seriously need punished and brought down a peg or two, he uses an anal plug on me. Let me tell you , this is the most humbling experience ever. So humiliating.......but it works.
My HOH has never used the usual figging. I repeatedly didnt clean the bathroom to his stands. I felt lazy some days and thought I could get away with a quick wipe. I have to admit I hate cleaning the bathroom. Cleaning the bath is such hard work. The first couple of times the job wasn't done correctly I had a bare bottom spanking with his hand. The 2 times after, I received the slipper. 2 times after I received the belt. Next 2 times, it was the cane. The next time, my HOH said he didn't know what to do to me, to make me learn my ways. I was given a hard spanking with the belt. But I knew it wouldn't end there. I was told to face the wall and not move. My HOH went out out and came back later with nettle leaves. I was told to bend over the back of the chair. He wiped my bottom with the leaves. I then inserted them into my bottom hole. The itching was awful. But he told me to stop wriggling. I was to receive a severe caning. I was told to stay still. Not wriggle. I had to count each stoke and say thank you sir. I received 30 stokes that day. The most ever
The bathroom has always been clear since that day. My bottom was itchy and I welcomed the cane to relieve the itch. What was was left with at the end was a very sore and itchy bottom
We're new to Domestic Discipline - but I don't think we'll ever go back to any other type of marriage. This is an old-fashioned type of marriage where the man makes the final decisions and the wive obeys. Are we door mats? Not at all! My hubby listens to all my opinions and takes them all into consideration, then makes the final decision. Why do I agree to this? Because there can only be one captain on a ship - otherwise it becomes chaos. We made a list together of the things that we want in our marriage. When my Hoh has broken one of our rules - he has to apologize. That is a big thing for him. When I break a rule, I get a spanking. How could I ever love and respect a man I could spank? Someone has to enforce the rules! I make the waves - he gets the boat on course - and I adore him for this. He is so much more involved in our marriage now - working to make our days happy, loving, calm and peaceful. I love domestic discipline - no more days of cold shoulders, and the silent treatment! Problems are solved on the spot and when I have learned my lesson, we cuddle and make love and are happy again.
I make decisions and have respect at work - but at home I've handed over the reins to my Jack and that works perfectly.
I would like to add, that my hubby doesn't have the right to spank me for daily things such as cleaning the house but he does have total control over everything that upsets our marriage. He enforces The 4 Ds: Disobedience - disrespect - dishonesty and disloyalty.
Jack's Jill
MY NAME IS ELISABETH FROM UNITED KINGDOM.
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Because we need guidance. If you are a true submissive you should know your place in the equation. Geod madevus for man ftom man. If you are not truly submissive you will not understand wholey
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