I'm a Slaaaaave For You

Although Britney Spears can sing a song about it, I can't. This seems to be the area in which most people who come into contact with the D/s relationship have the most trouble.

The simple truth is: I am not a slave. Neither a sex slave, nor any other kind. But if my husband commands me to get over his knee, I do it (ususally...) . This is not part of being a slave, however, to me this is simply part of being his wife.

I want desperately to please my husband, and will follow his commands because I want to and because I need to show him respect. He's proven to me time and time again that he is worthy of my trust and has my best intrests in mind. He is a natural leader, and a loving husband, so I do follow rules he sets out for me because it helps us both. But a slave is someone who is held captive, and sometimes forced to do things she doesn't want to do.

But naturally, my husband- since I am his best friend and his wife- wants me to do these things because I want to. It's called free will. If I didn't have it, then how could he feel I was sincere? Marriage is about selfless love, not forced love. When I do it right, things go really well for us. Marriage is seemingly perfect until I mess up. It's then that although I don't like it in the moment, I want to be taken over his knee because I need to get back to where we were so happy- but I don't know how on my own. Being disciplined helps me find that submission again, and it helps my HOH reinforce his dominance.

I am expected to obey rules and do certain things because I have agreed to this. I also admit, I have a need for this structure. I need my husband's guidance, and am grounded because of it. But even my husband can see how if it was all forced, it wouldn't be real. This needs to be me submitting because it is natural to me, and because it feels good, and because I want to. There are times when it is unpleasant, and I am held down during a discipline because I'm acting like a complete child. However, that's my fault. No one else's. Whenever it's unpleasant- I've noticed- it's because I've made it that way.

So our marriage works in harmony and is structured. At least it is when I'm obedient, and we've been doing this long enough for me to see that we're just so much more happy and loving when I'm obedient and trust my husband and do as he says.

I do not feel like I have no choice in this, or like I am my husband's "slave". Although it may appear that way, I trust him enough to give him my complete submission, and if from there he wants me to do something that pushes my limits and scares me- I should trust him and do it, because he's helping me grow in this. If it's really difficult for me, he has patience and knows I'm only human. Though it all comes down to my submission. With my submission, I give him a greater ability to love and respect me- so instead of being binding I find it to be the opposite: empowering to us both.