I'm 25, not 5!

(That's not my real age, I've hidden most of my personal stats for privacy ;)

~ A couple of times before my HOH and I really embraced the DD lifestyle, we gave it a couple tries and first failed. There were a few things that didn't quite "flow" with the practice. One of these things that hindered me in taking this/him seriously was feeling that I was being talked down to.

There's enforcing obedience & administering punishment, then there's talking down to & treating someone like a child. We were young, and this is something my husband easily confused.

As a wife, and a partner in marriage, I had a problem with hearing my name called out, "Emmmmmy....!" like a child in trouble. When he'd tower over me and use a lyrical tone- in other words "talk down to me", it just didn't work. I lost all respect. You're thinking: this woman is willing to be taken over a knee and spanked but doesn't want to be treated like a child??? Doesn't sound like it makes sense, but it does.

I submit to spankings and my HOH's authority, yes, but that doesn't mean I'm like a child or should be treated like one either. I need to be treated like an adult, which means being held responsible for my actions like an adult. I act childish, yes, but am reprimanded for that- and more harshly than a child would be. The whole point of DD, however, is that I desire, ask for, and submit to being corrected for the good of myself. Children don't do that. Sometimes, I brat, or try and get lose. I am punished even more harshly for that. But just because I might act like a silly child sometimes at my worst and most shameful moments doesn't mean my HOH should reciprocate that. I didn't need a parent, I needed as HUSBAND.

Despite the seemingly monarchial nature of the DD lifestyle, it still in my opinion about partnership. I bless my husband with comfort and care and fullfill his needs. I give him things a child never could. Thus, he honors me and thanks me for it. He appreciates me fore it and it helps him to give me the things I need in a husband. I am not a child to him, I'm a partner, a lover, a best friend. So even though he make take my discipline into his hands, I trust him with this power over me, and embrace it. Likewise, he does not abuse it by treating me in silly ways like this.

Part of what helps me so much is for him to hold me responsible and treat me like the adult I am. When we go out in public, I'm in control of myself. I'm an adult, I make my own choices while respecting my husband (as he does for me), and I need these things. I need a length of independence and trust, which I do have and earn.

This was a hard hump to get over, and when my HOH would slip back into using the degrading, parent/child tone and I felt he wasn't seeing me as a wife, I'd gently remind him of how it made me feel. Though this isn't completely his problem either. The desire for me to not be treated like a child and spoken down to encourages me to be more adult. Thus, I'm am on better behavior because his respect for me is inspiring and I don't want him to go back to treating me this way. To be honest, it makes me much more aware of my disobedience and shame over my actions when my husband address me as his wife. He sees me as an adult, and so I'd better act like one! When he uses his adult voice, towards an adult, and speaks seriously, there is nothing more firm than that. It forces me to remember: I'm a grown up, he's giving me the honor of treating me with respect, and I need to give that back.

~ Just in case any of you women were having the same hang up as we once did. Perhaps not all DD wives feel this way... but it definitely has improved us.